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Archive for the 'inner space' Category

I’m the wrong kind of oddball. I always figured, due to my incredibly dysfunctional childhood, that I belonged with the other outcasts, and so I naturally gravitated to them in any given situation. But I keep finding out that I don’t fit there either. I always assumed that the outsiders would be working to work [...]

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(untitled)

I’m listening to the unabridged audio of “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand.
This is what baptism should feel like.

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gossip

I was in the worst living situation. I was in the land of ten thousand roaches, and infinite chiggers. And I was looking around, like a driven maniac, desperately casting about for any other living situation. Actually, not any other situation. I knew how easily one could allow desperation to take hold, then jump with [...]

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here we go … again

you’d think that right after i asked the question (scroll down to the bottom), i’d be right on it, sitting down to peel off another blog post with focus and insight into the answer.
not so. not so at all.
in fact, as soon as i realized where the answer would be taking me, i beat a [...]

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it’s never that a person drinks. it’s how they drink that makes them an alcoholic. this particular person was drinking with her husband, then hiding the bottles because her family, who know the couple as teetotalers, “wouldn’t understand”.
that was really my first clue.
symptoms of a problem abounded… from the haphazard way she attacked a project, [...]

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i’ve got a job

I don’t know how it happened. I went on a retreat and was offered a job. And this was after I told them I was a professional nut. Really, I used to scoff at those soap operas where so-and-so just got of jail and was offered some white-collar spot with no experience. Now I’m living [...]

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driven to spend

I’ve been thinking about how strong the impulse tendency has been in my life and tracing the roots of it. Looking back, I realized that a large part of my impatience stemmed from childhood. (What a surprise.)
I remember reading The House On Mango Street. The book is told from the point of view of Esperanza, [...]

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I don’t know about others, but I always do a mental cringe when a white person starts talking to me about having black friends, or fighting for civil rights, or whatever they think is necessary to get you to give them a pass for being white.
The problem is that you don’t have a pass to [...]

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I love it when the world makes sense. So I was writing this out, and writing is like taking inventory sometimes, and it all came together.
First, we’re going to have to back up about a year, when I first started hanging out at this place. About a week or two of hanging out with the [...]

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This is going to be one of those long, involved things. I’ve been busy mind-mapping, working to find my lay of the land here. So many different factors to cover, integrate, and have it all make sense. Good luck, I think to myself. I’ve been doing this blank for weeks.
So all this introspection and analyzing [...]

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