oooh! i get it!
Oct 7th, 2008 by tortoise
i always say i don’t have time to blog, but when life starts getting fucking insane (and even when it’s normal), it really helps to unpack the shit going on to see where the shatterpoint lies.
i’m looking at this craziness, knowing that i’m responsible for it, and wondering where the crux is. what is it that i need to change in order to step away from this situation without stepping into another similar piece of shit.
as i was writing about the pothead moving in, it occurred to me that something must be going on that i happen to move into a house that’s the antithesis of clean and sober. and i recall that at my last job, the co-worker that i immediately struck up a friendship with was a raging closeted alcoholic. not that i knew that right off, but still.
and then i recalled that after experiencing some drama at the end of last year with some closeted drinkers, i promised myself that for 2008, “i’m staying away from drama” — that was my mantra. totally forgetting that the brain doesn’t do verbs; it focuses on the nouns. so what do i steer towards? drama. with a capital d and a sideways r.
gotta rework my mantra. how about “finding and producing peace, harmony, growth and stability all life long”?
be right back. i gotta do some visualization. reprogram this fucking lunacy right the fuck … oh shit. doing it again. let’s try again. i gotta reprogram some beautiful and righteous growth, insight and challenges into the script.
yeah. that’s what i’m talking about.